Janey Character Page Image 1“…and on the eighth day, the Lord doth made the methane-breathing JET TURBINE, and He blessed it, saying that it was GOOD! HALLELUJAH!”


A sweet, cheerful and utterly incorrigible flirt who flamboyantly manages all of the company’s sales efforts – a born-again Christian with a singular talent for turning sales presentations into tent revivals.

Janey’s superbly proficient at sales, but she’s a solid second-shifter and is essentially useless before 10 AM. She’s also Hyperdrive’s interior designer who prepares the upholstery for each car, along with her assistant Michelle.

Janey has a thing for the military aesthetic and designed Hyperdrive’s signature insignia and flight suits, though her usual outfit only has the house colors (black and light blue) and sleeve patches.

Even though she works at an exotic-car company, she’s not actually into cars – but she loves motorcycles, rides a highlighter-yellow Landsknechte NZR690 sportbike and does track days on the weekends.

She landed the Sales Agent gig after chatting up several prospective clients at a car show and landed orders – and sizable deposits – for six LH1s. She often argues with the boss regarding sales, customer service or design features and originally didn’t like Bill much, but warmed up to him after a few conversations.

Janey’s dad is a Southern Baptist minister and she picked up a lot of his mannerisms, such as launching into Revival Mode when she wants to make a point. When she’s passionate about something, she comes across like an inspired preacher in the middle of a sermon.

She has a taste for Megashock soda and Red Star Vodka. Janey gets hit on by an inordinate number of midgets and bike douches, who’re under the impression that she’s a slut because she rides. She usually gets them to back off by talking about Jesus.